Powers/Weapons: The bootlegged episode is supposedly said to be cursed as signified by the many viewers that were deceased from their viewership. It is said that upon staring at the image long enough, it will blink.
*Blinking Light - SpongeBob blinks his eyes, shooting a beam of light at the opponent.
*Drop the Soap - SpongeBob drops some soap on the ground, which can cause the opponent to slip over it as it stays for 2 seconds. It doesn't matter if it's fresh scent or heavy duty.
*Bloody Tear Bubbles - SpongeBob blows a red bubble that smells like pennies via his pores after absorbing a tear of blood. It can blind the opponent for 3 seconds, leaving him/her open.
*Tickle Kick - SpongeBob flies forward rapidly kicking at the opponent.
*Sappy Slap - SpongeBob swings one stretched out arm at the cheek of the opponent, slapping him/her. He'll slap himself upon return, but it won't harm him.
*Throw - SpongeBob wraps one arm around the opponent, then launches him/her with a pelvic thrust.
*Reverse Throw - SpongeBob slips under the opponent then blasts him/her away from behind by gushing out a jet-speed stream of water.
*Don't Worry, Be Happy - SpongeBob takes out a bottle of Prozac and places the required amount inside of him from the top pore. After swallowing, he temporarily becomes his old, optimistic self, making his attacks faster and allowing him to do bigger combo strings.
*Take Your Meds - SpongeBob is about to take all his meds when he notices the opponent. He then wraps up the opponent with one arm and corks his/her mouth with the open pill bottle in the hand on the arm. The opponent is then deconstricted as he/she accidentally swallows the pills, causing him/her to spit out the now-empty bottle and then puke the same pale orange bile SpongeBob did in his midnight suicide.
*Soak It Up - SpongeBob gets out his spatula and sharpens the curves of it into sharp edges. He uses those edges to cut an "X" in the area where the opponent's heart was. He then pokes the scar, burning the opponent seeing as how he's been in salt water, and sucks up the opponent's blood. As the opponent loses his/her blood, he/she grows more pale while SpongeBob's yellow skin goes red. The opponent later drops dead and SpongeBob gushes some blood into a plastic bottle the same way he gushed out punch in "The Chaperone".
*SpongeBob unzips his skin, revealing his bright, "normal" self as he says, "April Fools!" and laughs.
*SpongeBob crawls out the screen of an old television that had played the video. He then moves the TV away and says, "I'm ready!" despite lacking a mouth.
*SpongeBob puts on his rape face, minus the mouth of course.
*SpongeBob blows two kisses at the screen and laughs to himself.
*"This could start be the best day ever. Now all I need is my mouth to smile."
*"Score one for the boys back home!"
*SpongeBob was about to hang himself as the TV was on, playing a rerun of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy, because even though his seclusion didn't cause a lot of bad things that affected the world, he couldn't take what happened after his seclusion. He had heard a lot of things after he came to this state, such as Squidward commiting suicide after being booed out of his own concert, Patrick dying from type 2 diabetes, the Krusty Krab shutting down entirely as well as the formula being destroyed causing Plankton to suddenly have himself become actual roadkill, Pearl commiting suicide after she was told that she was adopted, Sandy suddenly dying from trying to see if she can break the 2014 Guiness O'Ripley's world records since SpongeBob wasn't there to help her, and Mr. Krabs joining Pearl in the afterlife by weighing his guts down with an anchor with the weight crushing them and his ribs; so as you'd imagine, SpongeBob had to join his friends in the afterlife as well. Suddenly, a being known as Creeps McPasta took over the broadcast of SpongeBob's television and said that a god was gathering certain people for a tournament, and the winner would get their wish granted in order to find someone worthy enough to take accept the challenge. Even though SpongeBob was at the time without a mouth during his massive depression, he looked...happy, for he saw an opportunity to make things go back to the way they were. With that thought in his mind, he decided to enter the tournament. Just before leaving, he wrote a message to anyone who would manage to want to know the whereabouts of the yellow guy, leaving it in the typewriter in his kitchen where Mr. Krabs once promoted him to head shiny object collector. Here's what it read:
"Dear anybody and everybody,
If you are reading this, then at first I decided that I couldn't live my life like this anymore, which explains the noose near my couch. As you'd know, I was fired by Mr. Krabs because he needed to save some money. I wouldn't really blame him. Gary later on left me and lived with Patrick. Even before that, I secluded myself in my own pineapple, and my eyes became bloodshot, but I can still blink. However, there might be some hope for me to make things right thanks to hearing about this blue guy who promised that the winner of this tournament he was holding would get their wish granted. Wish me luck, and sorry if I'm hurting anyone, physically, mentally, socially, or emotionally.
~XOXOXOXO to everybody, SpongeBob SquarePants"
*After defeating Mr. Creepypasta, SpongeBob used his wish as expected. After saying what he wished for, he woke up in his bed to the sound of his foghorn alarm clock. He pressed the snooze button and noticed that it was Sunday. He then looked in the mirror, only to see that he was his normal, modern-day self. His skin and clothes were bright and not at all tattered, his pupils were the same light blue color and small size without any veins around them, and his mouth was still there, buck teeth and all. He then acknowledged all of that as a mere crazy dream that went on for longer than a dream usually goes on for, and couldn't wait to tell his friends about it. Just then, he looked on his desk and recognized the letter he wrote in case anyone was worried about him. He then dropped it and wore a frozen face of shock. In surprise, he looked around his house and whispered to himself, "D-did I...win the tournament? Have...have I...gotten my wish granted?" He then saw that Gary was sleeping in his house and waked him up asking if he remembers being with Patrick. Gary meowed which translated into him saying that the last time he was with Patrick, he just wanted the cookie in his pocket. After walking over to his couch, he saw a noose in front of the couch. Suddenly thinking something strange was afoot, he wnt back to his room, noticing a yellow cassette tape with a few drops of blood on it. He then put it in and heard that it was the voice of someone, but SpongeBob couldn't put his finger on it. Here's what the recording said:
"You must be SpongeBob. If you're listening to this, then you have won. I wanted you to at least have a few memoirs, so I kept certain things that you had in your home in the vain hope that it'll come back to you. Though maybe it wouldn't do that much, I thought I'd give you a recording I made to congratulate you. Oh, and in case you don't know, I was the guy who took over your broadcast. The name is Creeps McPasta."
SpongeBob then felt a surge of joy and accomplishment go through his heart, right next to the part of it that knows the secret formula. He then said, "I did it! I got my old life back!" With that, he gave Gary a hug saying that he was glad to have him back, then ran outside and gave everyone else a hug, whether or not he knew them. Everything was back to how it should be: Patrick didn't have diabetes, Squidward didn't shoot his mouth with a shotgun, Plankton didn't get served after the formula was burned to cinder, et cetera, et cetera. And on that day, the oceanic area under Bikini Atoll echoed with jubilant relief from a certain undersea sponge about how he was glad that everything was back to normal; even from Sandy's treedome. After all that, SpongeBob hugged the palm tree of Bikini Atoll still in his animated form and said with glee like he did long ago: "It's great to be home!"
Rival: Kitty Red
SpongeBob BootlegPants: "You know, I think I'm starting to accept this." *in his tough guy tone from No Weenies Allowed* "Yeah. I feel sorry for the next Johnny on the chopping block that looks at me funny."
Kitty Red: "Konnichiwa, SpongeBob-San."
SpongeBob BootlegPants: *sees her; stutters in fright* "Oh, it's you...um..." *snaps his fingers*
Kitty Red: *unamused* "Kitty." *puts her medical mask back on*
SpongeBob BootlegPants: "Kitty! What happened to your face?"
Kitty Red: "It was missing something."
SpongeBob BootlegPants: "Hmm..." *puts a hand to where his chin once was* "Judging the blood seeping from your mouth, I'm guessing you didn't have one at first."
Kitty Red: "Speaking of which..." *gets out the knife she used to carve herself a mouth* "You could use one."
SpongeBob BootlegPants: "Well, I don't care if you're the demon seed of Davy Jones! You're going down, pussy!" *covers his mouth, then realizes he doesn't have one, which is why Kitty's fighting him* "Ah, forget it."
This is mainly fanon. The original is owned by .
Who's secluded in a pineapple under the sea?
Absorbent, dark yellow, and mouthless is he.
If nautical disturbance is what you wish,
Then drop down and stay that way like a dead fish!
*hearty laughter and flute playing*
↑Let that sink in
*Some special moves from SpongeBob come from certain media; mainly fighting games including FelixMario2011's SpongeBob.
*This SpongeBob is considerably a fusion of the bootleg version and the suicidal version; both being taken down from the creepypasta wiki.
*As you can tell, I (John.mitchell.9210256) am mainly one of those people that like the modern-day SpongeBob; but I do find it a bit ridiculous that Nickelodeon focuses a lot on SpongeBob and not as much as the other shows.
*Parts of the intro to arcade mode that occured after SpongeBob was fired were borrowed from various other SpongePastas (ex: Squidward's Suicide, Patrick's Diabetes, and Pearl.avi).
*The typewriter in the kitchen is derived from Battle for Bikini Bottom.
**Slenderly Bliss Form: A humanized female version of SpongeBob without a mouth (think of a literally mouthless, ponytailed brunette with a slight bit of jaundice as well as freckles and craters in a short-sleeved button-up blouse with two pockets as well as a nametag, a red tie with a front pocket, a black-banded wristwatch, a brown and semi-square skirt with a belt holding it up, knee-high socks each with 2 stripes, one red and one blue, and black strap-on shoes, as well as black-framed nerd glasses)
"I'm... ready... I'm re..a..dy... we..er is.. my mouth?"
"So sorry but its for my dead friends.'
"Why am I like these? whats happed to me? why are you here? WHY ARE YOU HERE?